Relationship Investment

Three Motivations for Infidelity: Growth, Deficits, and Personality – One Motivation for Fidelity: Relationship Investment 

Sexual infidelity requires volition (Berman & Frazier, 2005; Edlund & Sagarin, 2017; Zapien, 2016). Psychological science distinguishes two types of volition regarding infidelity, affairs of opportunity and premeditation (Bagarozzi, 2008; Hackathorn & Malm, 2022; Kowalski et al., 2024). Affairs of premeditation involve complex self- and external deception (Brewer & Abell, 2015; Kowalski et al., 2018; Krumpal, 2013). Women in committed relationships tend to be particularly selective of casual sex partners, which requires premeditation (Hughes & Harrison, 2019; Smith, 2012; Stewart-Williams et al., 2017).

One theory proposed for committing infidelity is known as personal growth, or self-expansion (Buunk, 1980; Lewandowski & Ackerman, 2006; Thompson, 1983). This theory was based on self-reports of people who had affairs. It was not tested empirically. Moreover, substantial data—centered on self-, relational, and familial destructiveness of affairs—argues against it (Bozoyan & Schmiedeberg, 2022; Buss & Shackelford, 1997, Pincus et al., 2009).

Another theory proposed for committing infidelity is known as the relationship deficit model, or needs-fulfillment (Buunk, 1980; Lewandowski & Ackerman, 2006; Thompson, 1983). This model was also based on self-reports of people who had affairs. It has not been tested empirically. The deficit model incorporates parallel, non-mutually exclusive lines of reasoning. One line centers on dissatisfaction with the spouse’s level of emotional involvement, with the spouse, or with the relationship, as motivation and justification of infidelity. Feeling emotionally neglected as motivation for infidelity is associated with high neuroticism (Allen & Walter, 2018). Feeling dissatisfied with the spouse is associated with narcissism (Vrabel et al., 2020). Feeling dissatisfied with the relationship is associated with complex, aversive personality. (Euler et al., 2018; Lișman & Corneliu, 2023; Lyons et al., 2016). The other line centers on feeling emotionally pulled toward another person as motivation and justification for infidelity. Research has shown that women who engage in infidelity perceive this motivation and cite this justification more than men (Mark et al., 2011). The deficit model fell out of favor regarding men’s infidelity. It seems to have remained in place regarding cultural perceptions and social acceptability of women’s infidelity.

Many studies regarding infidelity emphasize personality as a pivotal factor (Apostolou & Panayiotou, 2019; Curtis et al., 2021; Shackleford et al., 2008). Low relationship commitment, for example, is associated with egocentric personality (Jirjahn & Ottenbacher, 2023; Klein et al., 2020; Mattingly et al., 2011). Adverse personality may be an overlooked facet of women’s infidelity (Banfield & McCabe, 2001; Buunk et al., 2018; Furtado et al, 2024; Klein Haneveld et al., 2022; Moore et al., 2020).

Relationship investment is strongly associated with commitment and fidelity (Campbell & Foster, 2002; Lee & O’Sullivan, 2019; Tran et al., 2019). One spouse might be more committed than the other (Mandal, 2020; Rodriguez et al, 2018; Stanley et al, 2019). The more committed spouse might be male.

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