The Research for Betrayed Men (RBM) Forum

We would like to announce the Research for Betrayed Men forum. The RBM forum is moderated. We have configured it for privacy. 

The forum’s primary purpose centers on presenting and discussing empirical psychological science regarding committed relationships, sex, and infidelity. This data tends not to be readily available to the public. Popular material and clinical literature about infidelity tend to overlook it. We present data, which we have evaluated and consolidated over several thousand hours of study, as abstracts and essays. This information might help men determine their unique pathway forward. The forum will be updated regularly.  

We take no position on whether betrayed men should stay or leave their relationship. Such decisions belong to the man, alone. Moreover, we take no position on the morality of staying or leaving. Infidelity, and the volition, deception, and egocentrism inherent to it, are widely regarded immoral. We hold that only the betrayed can decide their path forward given the immorality of infidelity.

Infidelity, particularly when extensively premeditated, requires complex decisions. Examples of such decisions include planning secret encounters, rationalizing adverse behaviors, externalizing responsibility for them, and deceiving others about them. Thus, we do not engage in guilting betrayed men, to include inviting them to consider their spouse’s family of origin issues as causal or mitigating factors. Furthermore, we do not encourage men to rise above, or bypass, their experiences. 

We reject the common assertions that relational disconnection leads to infidelity and that women commit infidelity for romantic reasons. Thus, we do not ask men ‘how they could have shown up better’, ‘what they could have done to prevent betrayal’, or ‘what was missing from the relationship’. We also reject contentions that betrayed men suffer ego wounds. Thus, we do not ask men to consider ‘what being betrayed has taught them about themselves’.  

We offer access to the forum for a monthly subscription of $75. This fee includes moderators’ responses to discussions and questions regarding the information presented, within reason. The forum is behind the researchforbetrayedmen.com paywall. Signing up for the forum requires a username and an e-mail address. The paywall and forum require different sign-ons.

Subscribers will have access to discounted individual consultation fees. Subscribers will also have discounted group discussion fees. We do not engage in upselling the services we offer.