Damages

Overview:

Biology governs basic sexuality. The biological function of sex is reproduction. The lens of reproduction bears out biological facts and experiences associated with sexual interactions (Bendixen et al., 2017; Campbell, 2008; Conroy-Beam, et al., 2015). Put differently, the costs and consequences of sexual infidelity are sex-differentiated (Allen et al., 2005; Asao et al., 2023; Baumeister et al., 2017; Betzig, 1989; Elmslie & Tebaldi, 2008; Meston & Buss, 2007; Price et al., 2014; Shackelford et al., 2002; Thompson et al., 2020; Visser et al., 2010).

Women and men have different sexual psychologies (Poeppl et al., 2016). They also have different reproductive costs (Jonason & Lavertu, 2017). Different sexual psychologies and reproductive costs result in distinctive mate values (Miner et al., 2009). These cornerstones of human mating determine sex-differentiated sexual and reproductive health criteria (Allen, 2019). Biological and psychological science shows that men’s betrayal experiences differ strikingly from women’s. Betrayed men, particularly fathers who choose to stay, face grim biological realities that strike at the core of their biological bondedness (Buunk et al., 2018; Ruel et al., 2023; Walsh et al., 2019).

Mate Value:

Humans approach long-term mating strategically (Buss & Shackelford, 2008; van der Linden et al., 2015; Whyte et al., 2019). They also mate assortatively, based on mate value (Back et al., 2011; Burtăverde et al., 2021; Edlund & Sagarin, 2014; Sela et al, 2017; Schmitt et al., 2012). Many women seek commitment from men who have higher mate value than their own (Geary, 2004). Men’s willingness to commit is based on assessing their own mate value relative to women who are interested in a committed relationship with them (Apostolou & Pediaditakis, 2023).

Committed relationship mate value centers on reproductive costs (Jonason et al., 2015; Shackelford et al., 2002; Thompson et al., 2020). Women’s main reproductive costs, gestation, birth giving, lactation, and long-term rearing obligations establish their need for resources and parental investment (Buunk et al., 2018; Salmon, 2017; Sherlock et al., 2016). Men’s main reproductive cost, long-term parental investment without paternal certainty, establishes their need for exclusivity (Bode & Kushnick, 2021; Wade, 2010; Weisfeld et al., 2024).

Women’s sexual infidelity steals incalculable value from the relationship (Baumeister & Vohs, 2004). It also devastates women’s own mate value (Asao et al., 2023; Brewer et al., 2015; Campbell, 2008; Murphy et al., 2024; Walsh et al., 2019). The complex thefts of relationship and mate values represents a total loss criterion for betrayed fathers, which is compounded by their conscientious commitment to their family (Millar & Baker, 2017).

Biological Disgust:

Biological emotions, such as happiness, sadness, fear, anger, and disgust, are immutable (Hwang & Matsumoto, 2020). Four of the five, listed above, convey active threat messages (Ekman, 2016). Sexual infidelity activates sex-differentiated biological disgust emotions (Asao, 2023; Berretz et al., 2023; Buss & von Hippel, 2018; Donner et al., 2023; Šimić et al., 2021).

Empirical psychological science identifies three domains of biological disgust: pathogen, sexual, and moral (Tybur & De Vries, 2013). Pathogen disgust evokes behavioral responses to sores, wounds, and bodily substances and fluids, including semen, where they should not be (Badour & Feldner, 2018; Davis & Arnocky, 2022; Tybur et al., 2018). Sexual disgust evokes revulsion toward a potential mate who engages in uncommitted sex or has sores on their lips or genitals (O’Shea et al., 2019). Regarding infidelity, sexual disgust evokes revulsion toward an established reproductive partner who violates the relationship’s sexual and reproductive wellbeing (Allen, 2019; Asao et al., 2023; Burtăverde et al., 2021). Moral disgust is activated by offensive behavior, such as urinating or defecating in public spaces, or engaging in risky sexual behavior (Asao et al., 2023; Karinen et al., 2023; Tybur et al., 2013).

These disgust domains impact betrayed men in ways that are misunderstood, and unknown to empirical science (Apostolou et al., 2022). Many betrayed men identify biological disgust among their greatest psychological and physiological betrayal experiences. Biological disgust, induced by sexual infidelity, is associated with sharp declines in unfaithful women’s mate value (Burtăverde et al., 2021; Campbell, 2008; Visser et al., 2010).

Sexual Psychology Dynamics:

Humans have sex for many reasons; three are reproduction, recreation, and hedonism (Carter et al., 2014; Isma & Turnip, 2019; Stolarski et al., 2017). Casual sexual encounters are particularly recreational and hedonistic for men (Bendixen et al., 2017; Hughes and Harrison, 2019; Jonason et al., 2010). Furthermore, dominance (assertiveness) and submission (receptivity) dynamics pervade casual sexual engagements (Buss, 2017; Joyal et al., 2015; Lee et al., 2013). Dominance and submission are intrinsic to women’s sexual infidelity (Burch & Gallup, 2019). Such dynamics include the other man’s coercive or overt sexual dominance (and unfaithful women’s enthusiastic or reluctant submission to it), unprotected sex, and non-paternity (Buss, 2018; Fincham & May, 2017; Jozifkova & Kolackova, 2017).

Women’s sexual psychology, sexual fantasies, short-term mate preferences, romance literature, and infidelity, share complex associations (Apt & Hurlbert, 1994; Burch & Salmon, 2019; Birnbaum et al., 2008; Critelli & Bivona, 2008; Fisher & Cox, 2010; Geary et al., 2004; King, 2020; Salmon, 2017; Salmon et al., 2019; Zapien, 2016). Women perceive power from submission (Nimbi et al., 2023; Seehuus et al., 2022; Visser et al., 2015). However, unfaithful women’s sexual submission is associated with other men’s fantasies, exploitation, and dominance (Baughman et al., 2014; Joyal et al.; 2015; Salmon et al., 2023).

Biologically, other men approach short-term mating opportunities exploitatively (Apostolou & Demosthenous, 2021; Carter et al., 2014; Schmitt & Jonason, 2015). They seek sexual variety from women willing to provide it without commitment (Hughes & Harrison, 2019; Jonason & Buss, 2012; Joseph et al., 2015). Dominance is also associated with fantasy and sexual satisfaction for other men (Jones & Weiser, 2014; Joyal et al., 2015; Jozifkova & Kolackova, 2017). In sum, unfaithful women’s perceived gain does not align with other men’s measurable gain: low-cost, uncommitted sex (Hughes & Harrison, 2019; Salmon et al., 2019; Weiser & Weigel, 2015).

Sexual dominance and submission dynamics play havoc with men’s biological emotions and unconscious processing (Ekman, 2016; Donovan et al., 2025; Kreibig, 2010; Schooler et al., 2015; Smith & Lane, 2016). Betrayed men’s experiences center on sex as the exchange of their wife’s infidelity (what she traded for the ego validation she received) and the other man’s low-cost sexual gain and enacted dominance (Bailey et al., 2000; Baumeister & Vohs, 2004; Drigotas et al., 1999; Jonason et al., 2011; Jones & Figueredo, 2013). Many also identify dominance and submission dynamics as particularly psychologically and physiologically damaging (Buss, 2018).

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