Perspectives

Researchers began studying women’s infidelity during the 1970s, and yet very little of this data has been presented to the public (Abzug, 2016; Drigotas & Barta, 2001; Thompson, 1982). Infidelity recovery themed clinical literature generally claims that 10 to 15 percent of women sexually betray men they agree to be exclusive with (Allen et al., 2005). Many scientific research disciplines, however, show that more than 30 percent of women admit to sexual infidelity (Apostolou & Panayiotou, 2019; Bell et al., 1975; Brand et al., 2007; Maykovich, 1976; Thompson, 1983). These studies consistently project or show that 40 to 55 percent of women actually commit sexual infidelity (Apostolou, 2023; Bell et al., 1975; Thompson, 1983; Tsapelas et al., 2010; Vangelisti & Gerstenberger, 2014). Some research indicates that 68 to 70 percent of women commit sexual infidelity during their lifetime (Apostolou & Panayiotou, 2019; Grammer et al., 2004; Shackelford & Buss, 1997; Spitzberg, 2016; Wiederman & Hurd, 1999). 

Infidelity recovery themed clinical literature generally claims that women who commit sexual infidelity feel ‘pushed’ into it, by their relationship partner’s alleged ‘deficits’ (Duba et al., 2008). Many scientific research disciplines, however, show that women who commit infidelity are ‘pulled’ into it (by their own motives) and that they initiate affairs by ‘signaling’ availability to their chosen other man (Banfield & McCabe, 2001; Foster & Misra, 2013; Hughes & Harrison, 2019; Thompson, 1984; Zapien, 2016). Scientific research shows that personality predicts fidelity and infidelity (Allen & Walter, 2018; Apostolou & Panayiotou, 2019; Buss & Shackelford, 1997; Fowler & Both, 2020; Jirjahn & Ottenbacher, 2023; Lișman & Corneliu, 2023; Reinhardt & Reinhard, 2023). Such studies show that women’s infidelity requires egocentrism, entitlement, volition, premeditation and deception (Bravo & Lumpkin, 2010; Brewer & Abell, 2015; Kowalski et al., 2024; Wurst et al., 2017; Zapien, 2017). More specifically, feeling emotionally neglected, dissatisfied with a partner, bored with exclusivity, or frustrated by duties associated with commitment as rationalizations for infidelity are strongly associated with personality (Apostolou, 2023; Barta & Kiene, 2005; Brewer et al., 2020; Egan & Angus, 2004; Gewirtz-Meydan et al., 2023; Green & Charles, 2019; Moore et al., 2020). 

Infidelity recovery themed clinical literature generally accepts women’s claims regarding the other man’s emotions and intentions, and yet it tends to be silent regarding sexual dynamics and affair outcomes (Perez et al., 2023). Scientific research, however, shows that men who engage with women in committed relationships feign emotional interest to gain sexual access to them (Apostolou & Panayiotou, 2019; Buss, 2017; Hughes & Harrison, 2019; Jonason & Buss, 2012; Schmitt & Jonason, 2015; Weiser & Weigel, 2015; Wróblewska-Skrzek, 2021). Such studies also address sexual dynamics and affair outcomes (Bell et al., 1975; Bendixen, et al., 2017; Burch & Gallup, 2019; Campbell, 2008; Jozifkova & Kolackova, 2017). 

The RBM founders and contributors created the Research for Unfaithful Women (RUW) project for women, particularly mothers, who have betrayed bonded, committed, conscientious men (fathers) and who are interested in understanding how they arrived at the place they now find themselves. Specifically, scientific research shows that women’s sexual infidelity is associated with feelings of confusion, regret, and self-defeat (Campbell, 2008; Cruz et al., 2000; Galperin et al., 2013). We work with women who are interested in taking an individual journey of discovery and reconstitution, regardless of relationship outcome. We take a direct and compassionate approach to our work, which is grounded in evidence-based biological and psychological science.  

Works Consulted:

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