Journey

Malevolence tends to be understood as an intent to harm. A more specific meaning, however, entails indifference (callousness) regarding harm (Bonfá-Araújo et al., 2025; Bonfá-Araujo & Schermer, 2024; Green et al., 2024; Krizan & Johar, 2015; Moshagen et al., 2020; Paulhus et al., 2021; Starlinger et al., 2022). This definition conveys explicit context when a malevolent actor treats those to whom they have bonds of choice (spouse) and birth (children) indifferently (Blotner et al., 2021; Bonfá-Araujo & Schermer, 2024; Golmaryami et al., 2021; Jones & Paulhus, 2011; Velji & Schermer, 2024). Such indifference seems particularly salient when malevolent actions are premeditated, as expressly differentiated from opportunistic. Mother’s infidelity seems particularly premeditated (Alexopoulos, 2021; Bagarozzi, 2008; Zapien, 2016).

Bonded, committed, conscientious fathers experience their wife’s sexual infidelity as the opening of Pandora’s jar, and the collapse of meaning, as expressly differentiated from feelings associated with neuroticism (Aho, 2020, Fitness, 2001; Green et al., 2024; Heintzelman et al., 2014; Miller et al., 2018; Ratcliffe, 2023; Ratcliffe et al., 2014; Roelofs et al., 2008; Shardlow, 2024; Widiger & Oltmanns, 2017). Many betrayed fathers intentionally bear the responsibility of trying to shield their children from the intrusion of chaos and the collapse of order. These realities and experiences require grounding in biological and psychological foundations that are associated with resiliency (Buss & von Hippel, 2018; Ekman, 2016; Dunkel et al., 2021; Figueredo et al., 2015; Heintzelman et al., 2014).

Throughout recorded history, across civilizations, cultures, and mythologies, encountering malevolence has called for a journey of discovery or reconstitution. Such journeys have been described as stepping into chaos (the darkness), as opposed to striving toward renewed order (the light). They have been described as a descent, as opposed to an ascent. They have been described as the letter ‘u’, as opposed to the letter ‘n’. Put differently, if we depict mothers’ sexual infidelity as a dragon, then men must journey underneath the dragon, as opposed to meeting it in combat, and defeating it. If we depict it as a mountain, then men must journey beneath the mountain, as opposed to summitting it.

Journeys of discovery or reconstitution have been described as solitary endeavors. They entail discovering a pathway through chaos. Such journeys have been associated with costs. Individuals who have embarked on such journeys have paid the costs by giving up integral parts of themselves, including core beliefs. Journeys have been set apart from potential outcomes that follow malevolence. Put differently, journeys of discovery or reconstitution must be differentiated from the possibility of relationship reconciliation.

A Kung-Fu Panda Analogy

The Kung-Fu Panda trilogy integrates many cultural and mythological journey themes. This section surveys a few examples relevant to betrayed fathers’ realities and experiences. In all examples, the protagonist, Po, makes journeys of discovery or reconstitution into the figurative or actual unknown, at a cost.

In Kung-Fu Panda One, Po’s main learning experience, which instills in him the courage to fight Tai Lung, and enables him to win, is: There is no secret ingredient. A secret ingredient represents a formulaic solution to restore order. When malevolence brings chaos, however, pursuing a secret ingredient proves futile. Put differently, there is no known formula for working through facts, damages, realities, and experiences of mother’s sexual infidelity.

In Kung-Fu Panda Two, while searching for inner peace, Po experiences a metaphoric ego death. He is struck by a cannonball fired at pointblank range, (partially deflected by a wok), and blown into a river (rivers hold transitional symbolism in various mythologies). A seer nourishes Po to health. She then invites him to walk ‘the way’ (one foot in order and one in chaos). Po finds inner peace battling Shen, and he wins, thereby becoming the warrior of black and white, as the seer had foretold. More broadly, Po’s journey allows him to embrace order and chaos, which enables him to withstand Shen’s malevolence.

In Kung-Fu Panda Three, Po encounters the dark, spirit warrior, Kai, who has taken the chi of many warriors, and wants to take his. Po travels to a place where he discovers his ability to teach. This prepares Po to recognize and accept (once he faces Kai), that he cannot defeat him in the mortal realm, but he can transport him to, and battle him in, the spirit realm. Once there, Po understands and master’s chi, then overpowers and destroys Kai’s chi, which releases the chi of the master’s that Kai had taken. Mother’s sexual infidelity might be regarded as a taker of bonded, committed, conscientious men’s chi. A voluntary journey of discovery or reconstitution (into the spirit realm) may be necessary to preserve one’s chi.

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